If you're going to cheat on your wife and disappear with your lover to a foreign country for a few days - while being the Chief Executive of a state - maybe you should just own up to it instead of trying to weasel your way out of it by lying:

COLUMBIA, S.C. — Gov. Mark Sanford told a newspaper he was in Argentina, not hiking the Appalachian Trail as his staff had told the public to explain his sudden absence. He said he "wanted to do something exotic" to unwind after losing a fight over federal stimulus money.

The State newspaper reported that Sanford arrived Wednesday morning at Atlanta's international airport on a flight from Buenos Aires, where he drove along the coast of what he called a "beautiful" city.

Sanford apologized at a press conference to his family, and his staff at a press conference for "the way that I let them down." He said he had a conversation with his father-in-law a few weeks ago about where "my heart was ... laying my cards on the table."

"There are moral absolutes, God's law is indeed there to protect you from yourself. There are consequences if you breach that. This press conference is a consequence."

At first it was not clear what Sanford was referencing.

"I've been unfaithful to my wife and I've developed a relationship with what stared as a dear, dear friend from Argentina," he finally said. The affair has been going on for a year, he later explained.

Sanford announced that he is resigning as head of the Republican Governors Association.

"I spent the past five days of my life crying in Argentina," he said, "so I could come back and cry here."

Seriously, dude - that's the best you can do? Just change your name to Evita and get it over with. I generally don't give a shit about people's sex lives - even policitians - but when they throw hypocrisy and lying into the mix, all bets are off.

And did I mention he's a Republican? Quelle surprise.

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I discovered on my way home tonight that today is apparently National Man Day.

CELESTINE, Ind. — Two Indiana men have declared Monday "National Man Day" only to find there's already a romantic holiday that falls on that date.

Ninteen-year-old Joel Longanecker of Celestine and his 26-year-old brother Aaron, of Indianapolis, have for months been rallying thousands to their masculine cause on Facebook. More than 260,000 people have pledged to "stand up and do manly things" on Man Day.

But it turns out June 15 is also "Sneak a Kiss Day," a day for sweethearts to steal smooches from their sweeties.

The Man Day organizers urge participants to take part in "manly" activities such as football, hunting or watching Rocky movies. They claim real men don't "sneak" kisses.

"Stand up and do manly things"... am I the only one picturing a circle jerk?

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Here it comes.



Tonight, Nancy interviewed Jennifer Buchanan, the mother of the little girl found murdered last week in Michigan. And, as anyone who is familiar with Nancy Grace's douchebaggery should have expected, it was totally a set-up. Much like the way she tore into Melinda Duckett after the disappearance of her child a couple of years ago, Nancy set out to hone her rotting-out, formerly prosecutorial teeth on the fragile psyche of a woman whose child is not yet even in the grave.

Listen, Jennifer Buchanan has got more than her fair share of issues. Apparently she befriended more than a couple of sex offenders with questionable pasts, and continued to allow her kid to be around them even after she knew about all that. And trust me, as someone who has never walked a mile in Jennifer Buchanan's shoes I've got plenty I'd like to rake her over the coals about. Starting with the naming of a child "heaven" backwards. *eyeballs roll out of head* But let's be clear: the time for that is not now. Unless I have one single iota of evidence suggesting that this woman had anything intentional to do with her daughter's death, right now is the time for those who would question her (other than, y'know, the police) to BACK THE FUCK OFF.

Yeah, Nancy? When you try to make yourself all superior and shit by taking down the emotionally and mentally fragile? You don't end up looking like a big shit. You end up looking like an evil, narcissistic, insecure, second-rate hack. You look like a fucking douchebag. Which is what you are, Madam.

Oh - and all those people who call into your show and coo over your nasty spawn, Lucy Elizabeth and John David? They all live up the side of a hill. Their dentures are slipping out. And they all resemble - well, they all look like KC!



I can only hope that one day, one of those freaks of nature crawls out from his or her hovel and murders one of your children, upon which some shrewish harpie can cross-examine you as to why you coddled and cajoled such human waste into your life, in effect endangering your own offspring.

Yeah, I said it. Fuck you Nancy. I spit on you. Friend. Ptooooey!

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