Morning Mephistopheles (brewed by the GOP In Exile!)

Oh Heavens to Betsy! Today is some kind of very big day in the book debut for morning talk show host and Republican hack Joe Scarborough. He's got some new piece of Republican propaganda out now, titled The Last Great Hope.

Seriously? Joe the Morning Meltdown Scarborough is our last great hope? Somebody hold me. Now.

Let's take just a moment to deconstruct this, shall we?

I have not read Mr. Scarborough's book. Nor do I intend to invest the money and energy necessary to do so. Let's just say that I've absorbed all the relevant info I need to from the ubiquitously vapid Mika Brezezinksi, Joe's own perpetually flapping mouth, and the always helpful interwebs.

It all boils down to this: Joe *brewed by Starbucks!* has decided to resurrect his political career by regurgitating the myths of the great Republican demagogue: Ronald Reagan. Oooohhhhh, according to old Joe (as many of his bretheren) Ronnie was the Great Uniter. His policies were favorable to everyman, across the board. He cut taxes. He fostered smaller government. He the champion of small business and individual freedoms. All hail!!!

Point in fact, Ronald Reagan did none of those things. Tax cuts? Reagan instituted imposing federal taxes on unemployment benefits. Genius! Let's tax money that's coming from the government in the first place. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Smaller government? Reagan oversaw the largest national defense spending ever, while purporting to need less taxpayer money to support his little fetish. Uniter? Reagan united one group: WHITE MEN. And he united them on the backs of women and minorities. He created the myth of the black "welfare queen," taking your taxpayer dollars to subsidize her lifestyle of wearing fur coats and eating bonbons in the housing projects. Oh yeah, whatever. IT WAS A LIE! Reagan capitalized on the hostility of white men towards minorities - the fear that if YOU get ahead, I have to take a step back. Reagan had absolutely no personal moral dog in the abortion fight, but he fostered the pro-life rhetoric just because it helped his party platform to do so.

Ronald Reagan had one lasting legacy: he smoked out the Soviets and continued outspending them on defense so as to bring the Cold War to its inevitable close. But understand - the Soviets were never going to be able to win the Cold War so long as the US maintained a ridiculous level of defense spending. In order to try to match us on that front, the Soviets had to basically rob their own citizens and cut off all social programs. The result was a persistent situation where the citizens were being slowly starved to death, which ultimately made it impossible for the government to continue spending on weapons systems. America was able to do both (at the time): maintain some level of social support AND pay exhorbitant amounts of money towards national defense.

How did Reagan fund defense spending while at the same time cutting taxes on the wealthy and on businesses? HE RAIDED THE SOCIAL SECURITY FUND!!!! Which leads us to the precipace on which we sit today, tomorrow, and for years into the future.

Back to Joe. Today on the Daily Beast, Christopher Buckley proclaims Joe and his new book "the new face of the Republican party." As a die-hard Democrat, my response to Buckley's assertion is: bwahahahahahahahaha! Bring.It.On.Dude! You want to parade Joe "Morning Meltdown" Scarborough around as the savior as your daddy's party? Have at it! As Buckley's blog claims, Scarborough "comes across as a profoundly likeable and reasonable man." Right, as long as you don't yank his hair-trigger chain. At which point "likeable" and "reasonable" give way to TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL LUNACY. Seriously, Joe's got less self-control than - dare I say it - Nancy Grace when confronted by somone conversant in the Fifth Amendment. Friend.

No doubt, Joe Scarborough has spent the last several years trying to position himself as a moderate friend to everyman. Supposedly, he left Congress unexpectedly in the middle of his third term because his son was spiraling out of control and needed him. Or, perhaps it was because of the Congressional intern who was found dead in his office! In any event, shortly after he was summoned "home" to Florida, Joe began commuting right back to Washington in order to do his first show, Scarborough Country, on MSNBC. Make of that what you will.

I watch Morning Joe occasionally. Because despite being a ginormous douchebag, Joe's got good producers who get damn good guests who have smart conversations - when they can get a word in edgewise. But mostly I just tear my hair out over what a smarmy, out of control, manipulative douchebag this dude is. Don't buy his book. Don't read his book. But for the love of all that is good and holy, don't vote for him in any Republican primaries coming up anytime soon - he just might be diabolical enough to win.